Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
