You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
