I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
