Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Someone came in the potted fern
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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