Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
