butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
