trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize