I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
