Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize