I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
