Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
