My first STD was from a foam party
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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