# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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