I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize