Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
