Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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