I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
