i was born a porn star she said
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I could fuck to npr.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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