$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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