absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
