think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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