Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
