i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
