you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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