brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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