everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
