I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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