you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
