He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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