I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
