kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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