I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
