just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
