Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
