He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
