I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
