She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize