we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
