the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish you could order shots online.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
