Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
