Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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