You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
