i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
