I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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