I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
