I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize