mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
