Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize