sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
