Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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