apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
