you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
