This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
