Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
