I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
