Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize