dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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