Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we're making bets on your personal life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
