Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
