Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
