Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
