do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
