But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
