Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
