Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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