My room smells like vodka and shame
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize