Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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