just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
