About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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