I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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