Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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