Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My breasts were aching with rage.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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